Anokhi Fashion Lifestyle Entertaiment

Wedding are significant moments in life, when family, friends, tradition and celebration come together. But often the size and scope is overwhelming for the modern couple. This is where the wedding planner steps in. Three renowned planners from the U.S. and Canada discuss their experience, how the industry has changed and what a bride can do to make a perfect day.

Melissa Samborski

One Fine Day Event Planning and Design, Toronto ON
Melissa Samborski is one of Toronto’s leading South Asian wedding planners and, unlike many planners who take on other events, her company is specifically directed towards weddings. Melissa has worked in planning for five years and catering for 10, but her knack for South Asian weddings came out of the blue.

“You start with one family and you just refer . . . I guess I started doing it and found it very intriguing and then did some more research, some more work and I understood what was going on.”

Unfortunately though, the Toronto market has seen an oversaturation of wedding planners due to the large amount of unqualified people organizing weddings with little hands-on experience and solid credentials. As it’s advisable to hire at least a “day of ” planner to relieve the stress from the couple, couples should look for a planner who has a diverse portfolio, pays attention to the details and has been profiled in a major magazine.

One thing Melissa tells her brides is to cut the guest list, if at all possible. “I find a lot of the feedback is, ‘I had 300 people and I didn’t know who they were.’ It’s hard to (cut people) because of families, but if you cut a guest list it makes a world of difference.” Melissa finds that while many young couples know the value of small weddings, there is a lot of pressure from parents and family to invite communities of people for the celebration.

But at the end of the day, if you want to make your wedding as perfect as possible, the details make the most impact. “Pay attention to the details. Details are what make it different and unique. It shows who the couple really is, creating an atmosphere . . . giving (the guests) elements they expect but also giving them something different and new.”

Preeti Shah

Spotlight Style, Shaadi Chic and Shaadi Studio, Manhattan NY

Preeti Shah has spent seven years planning weddings, focusing mainly on South Asian weddings, and has been featured in the New York Times, Manhattan Bride and on the Style Network. Her company, Spotlight Style, is a full-on planning operation—they even mail out the invitations. Preeti handles all the nitty-gritty details so that couples can enjoy every aspect of getting married.

She also recently opened Shaadi Studio, a lounge space in Manhattan for brides of all backgrounds, and not just for those working with Preeti as a planner. At the studio, brides can meet with vendors daily, get pampered with catering services and plan their own weddings. It accommodates all types of brides: Those who want a more modern wedding, those who want a traditional South Asian wedding or those who want to incorporate both worlds into their special day.

The industry is reflecting this influence of Western culture on South Asian weddings. Since Preeti started in the industry she has seen a very drastic change in how South Asian weddings are planned.

“Seven years ago a bride had no say in her wedding, she was lucky if she got to pick her outfit. The new generation of brides I have now . . . have so much more power.” Parents, however, still hold a strong influence over South Asian weddings. One of Preeti’s biggest challenges is finding a compromise for both the couple and the family. In this respect, communication is essential to lessening the instances of conflict so that the experience as a whole is more enjoyable.

Her advice for any bride is to pick your battles. “I’ve been asked . . . to do an entire session on how to manage the families (at Shaadi Studio). The entire year can become so ugly. I tell everyone to pick your battles and learn to let it go if it’s not that important to you, so that you can enjoy it yourself.” Choose two or three things you want more than anything, but otherwise let it go.

On your big day, Preeti makes it clear it’s about being happy and having fun. “Keep in mind, if things go wrong, if this is the biggest problem you have for the next 40 or 50 years of your marriage, then you’re already ahead of the game. Let it go . . . don’t harp on the little things. Enjoy the moment with your loved one.”

Rena Puebla

Coast Concierge Service, Costa Mesa, CA

Rena Puebla has made a name for herself and her company, Coast Concierge Service, over the past 24 years. Taking on huge events with celebrities like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Oprah’s 50th birthday and, recently, American Idol’s LaKisha Jones’s wedding, her experience with planning events is some of the best in the business. Although her experience with South Asian weddings in particular is occasional, she knows exactly how to throw a great party.

“People love to see different types of entertainment. When you’re trying to incorporate different cultures and people, especially when they are coming in from all over, they like to be a part of the celebration. Entertainment is number 1.” Rena recommends setting aside a part of the budget that is equal to the amount dedicated to the flowers. Especially with South Asian weddings, where there is a mix of traditional music and mainstream music, entertainment becomes a huge part of the success of the day.

One of the major problems that Rena has witnessed throughout her career is that often the expectations of the day usually exceed the limitations of the budget, especially when the parents are putting up the funds. “You usually try to tell the parents and the bride and groom that they are looking at $25,000 plus, and a lot of the parents are blown away because their weddings were only $10,000—but that was 30 years ago.”

It’s crucial to understand that everything can’t be perfect. Rena always tries to refocus the couples back to the true purpose of the day—the ceremony. “When it’s two people getting married who are in love . . . gosh, you know, I try to tell my bride and groom, ‘don’t argue with anyone’ . . . things happen so I try to get them in the frame of mind that this is about you and the person you are going to marry . . . don’t worry about anything else, it will all come together.”

BY: KIMBERLY ELWORTHY / PUBLISHED: MAY 2010
(PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE FOLLOWING:  (MARRIED COUPLE PHOTO) BY ELEMENTZ OF FOTO/COURTESY OF ONE FINE DAY EVENT PLANNING; (RAE AND TED BEANS) PHOTO BY SIMONE AND MARTIN PHOTOGRAPHER/COURTESY OF RENA PUEBLA COAST CONCIERGE SERVICE)