Anokhi Fashion Lifestyle Entertaiment

“Do you know that Priyanka girl? I think she like, stuffs her bra for school!”

My girlfriend came up to me one day during high school to inform me of the rumour that was going around. That was the first time I felt self-conscious about the size of my breasts. Up until a year ago I would squeeze myself into Ds or DDs (sometimes even Cs) hoping that somehow wearing the wrong size would change the real size. Needless to say, that didn’t really happen.

I never got myself fitted and didn’t care to know what size I really was. But, a year ago a friend finally dragged me to get fitted at speciality bra store, Secrets from your Sister. And there it was: the moment of truth–32H on a 5’6”, 130 lbs, 22-year-old woman. I didn’t even know bras went up that high in the alphabet but apparently women like myself have a need that the La Senzas of the bra industry can’t fill. So there they were, my 32Hs–somehow knowing the right size brought other issues into focus. My shoulders are heavy from the weight on my chest and are permanently hunched over from all that weight; it's frustrating to feel this helpless. The idea of not having to deal with constant back, neck and shoulder pains, self-consciousness and sexual harassment was tempting.

Finally, one morning in October 2007, I decided I would seriously look into breast reduction procedures. Within the next 30 minutes I was at a walk-in clinic getting a referral for a plastic surgeon. Over the next couple of days, I was able to do my own research and find more plastic surgeons in my area. My next steps included visiting these surgeons for consultation appointments and also, talking to people who had already been through this surgery.

I met with three different surgeons and the last one I visited was the winner. There were many things that set him apart from the other two surgeons whom I first consulted. Firstly, I noticed that on his website “breast reduction” was in a section separate from “cosmetic surgery”, under “reconstructive surgery”. This made me feel like I was putting my trust in someone who understood that this wasn’t a cosmetic procedure for me but rather, a procedure to address a physical problem. Secondly, this surgeon didn’t draw on me; in fact he barely touched me–this meant a lot to me and made me feel more comfortable. I felt that instead of approaching this as a doctor for whom this is simply a routine visit, he approached my situation from my position, as a woman who may not be comfortable with a stranger, even a surgeon, touching her breasts. Unlike other surgeons he even left the room and closed the door so I could get into a hospital gown (which wasn’t provided in my other consultations). Thirdly, he gave me a take-home package with information on plastic surgery and breast reductions and he even anticipated and answered my questions with a lot of patience.

My biggest concerns were breastfeeding and post-surgery complications. I did a lot of research on both. My surgeon made a point about there being a lot of research on the effects of breast reduction surgery on breastfeeding but as far as he was concerned, there was no way of saying for sure if I will be able to breastfeed after. He did, however, mention that he has had patients from the past who have come back to tell him that they were able to nurse. After research and a lot of thought I came to the conclusion that regardless of the inconclusiveness of this issue, this was a risk I was willing to take at this point in life.

I was nervous about the possibility that something could go wrong after the reduction surgery and I would be left to deal with the mess and the costs. Although the surgery is covered 100 per cent by the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP, Ontario's public health plan), I wasn’t sure if it covered complications. My surgeon assured me that if anything were to go wrong before our follow-up, I would be able to go back to him or to the emergency room and be taken care of, physically and financially.

I was also curious about scars from the surgery. The surgeon told me exactly where my scars would be and said that they would last a long time, if not permanently. This did not bother me at all; the relief that this procedure would provide for me–physically, emotionally and psychologically–far outweighed the minor unpleasantness of scarring.

It is now less than a month to my surgery. A big part of getting ready for this surgery also involved support from people around me. Most of my friends were immediately understanding and excited for this procedure. One of the toughest things was telling my parents about this decision. They saw this as an unnecessary and premature move. They are concerned about possible complications and negative repercussions (physical and emotional) after the surgery. After a few discussions they realized that this wasn’t an impulsive move but a well-thought-out and well-timed decision for me. Despite their reservations, my parents are going to be there for me and take care of me through the healing process.

I am increasingly confident in my decision to get a breast reduction. This was an important move for me and I spent countless hours researching and thinking about the process, outcomes and consequences and in the end, this is what I need to do for myself. I realize that reducing the size of my breasts will not fix all of my problems and I know that there is a deeper level of healing that needs to take place from the self-consciousness of all these years but this will be a good start. As the surgery date closes in I am starting to get a little nervous, but I am definitely more excited. It’s hard to know how different things will be for me afterwards, but I look forward to that change. One thing I do know for sure though is that it’s finally time: bye bye boobies!

BY: PRIYANKA JAIN / PUBLISHED: SPRING ISSUE 2008